Spike and Anya: To Scooby or not to Scooby, that is the question

[lusciousxander.livejournal.com]

Author: lusciousxander
Summary: Reasons why Anya was easily accepted as a Scooby than Spike.
Spoilers: From S2 toward S7.
Word count: 2,609
Notes: This essay is an answer to bookishwench's question: Why is Anya, a demon who has lost her powers and has tried to kill the Scoobies at least twice, regarded as being less of a threat/more acceptable to the group than Spike, a demon who has lost his powers and has tried to kill the Scoobies as well?

Great thanks to llywela13 for being my wonderful beta and giving me the cutest title.



Spike and Anya have always been described as having similar storylines; usually the Spike fans have a soft spot for Anya, and vise versa. Those two characters' first appearance was for one sole reason: to kill their future love interests, and when that backfired, they fell in love with them and tried their hardest to change for the better just for them.

To read more info on Spike and Anya's characters, check Wikipedia: Spike's page and Anya's page.

It's always arguable why Anya was easily accepted in the Scooby circle while Spike was always regarded as an outsider. Both characters were killers and tried to hurt the Scoobies in the past. I've posted three questions in my LJ about the topic, you can check out the answers.


Let's start with the reasons to why Anya mingled better with the Scoobies than Spike:

1- First impression
2- Seen crimes, unseen crimes
3- Currently human, currently soulless vampire
4- Relationships with a member of the Scooby Gang
5- The desire to become a Scooby


1- First Impression

Buffy: Who are you?

Spike: You'll find out on Saturday.

Buffy: What happens on Saturday?

Spike: I kill you.

This is the first time Buffy and the gang met Spike, he was a new villain who was so confident he would kill Buffy that he set a day for it. No one knew about this new villain, not even Giles. The only one who knew about Spike was Angel, and the information he had wasn't thrilling.

Angel: (suddenly appears) He's worse. (they all look at him) Once he
starts something he doesn't stop until everything in his path is dead.

Spike is described as a dangerous killer whose purpose is to kill the slayer (Buffy). It was the major idea for three years, not a short time obviously. S2, S3 and S4 all had Spike trying to kill Buffy, or talking about it, in case of S4 chipped!Spike, so it's really hard to accept him as anything else that easily.

As for Anya, she was introduced as a new student in Sunnydale High, she's known to be Cordelia's friend, this term is used a bit loosely though. None of the Scoobies know her. Willow was the first one to meet her:

Anya: Uh, Willow?

Willow: (turns around) Uh, hi. (doesn't recognize)

Anya: (gestures at herself) Anya. (smiles) I'm sort of new here.
(hopefully) Um, I know Cordelia?

Willow: (smiles thinly) Oh, fun.

Anya asked Willow to do a 'safe' spell for her, in which later Willow discovered that Anya was lying to her. Willow didn't treat Anya like a killer – Anya didn't kill anyone in the scene for Willow to think of her as a murderer - but a misguided student. She didn't know Anya used to be a demon, and her first impression of Anya was a student who had a knack for dark magics.

Then at the Bronze, Anya appeared in new unpleasant colors in front of Willow. Of all the Scoobies, it's Willow who saw the bad in Anya, keep in mind what Willow saw was nowhere as bad as they first met Spike, but it was still enough to make Willow dislike Anya.

Later, the Scoobies learned that Anya was a former vengeance demon who had granted Cordelia a wish. They knew that Anya was human now, with no powers, and gave her a warning (like always, the Scoobies rule is 'Can't kill the human or the defenseless no matter how evil they are')

Giles: (to Anya, warningly) Don't you try any tricks now, dear.

Anya: (sulkily) I don't need tricks. (arrogantly contemptuous) When I get my powers back, you will all grovel before me.

Both Willows roll their eyes and shake their heads at her delusions of grandeur.

Willow's reaction was also the Scoobies' naïve look on both Anya and Spike. Anya will never get her powers back, she's no threat. Spike will never get his chip out, he's no threat. Perhaps that naivety is one of the reasons the Scoobies are heroes. While they don't like Spike or Anya, they give them a chance for redemption and the chance to live.



Seen Crimes, Unseen Crimes

The Scoobies had a longer history of badness with Spike than with Anya. They had seen Spike in action, they had lived it, more than once. From trying constantly to kill Buffy, to horrifying the whole school, to lying to a big number of lost kids with false promises to turn them into vampires, to kidnapping Xander and Willow, beating Xander on two occasions, going against the Scoobies with Adam… and many more events that the Scoobies lived through, all that had a very bad Spike image drilled into their minds. The only Scoobies who didn't seem to dislike Spike were Dawn and Tara, because they didn't come face to face with Evil!Spike.

It is a huge difference between living and seeing a murderer in action than hearing about past crimes from a former murderer. Anya had her stories, she proudly talked of her past because she believed she did the right thing: the men she tortured deserved her punishments. The Scoobies either ignored what she said or brushed it away because Anya for her part was trying her best to mingle into the human world, deeply loved Xander, was clearly no threat to them. What made it easier to accept her was that she was never seen in action until S7. The only Scooby who seemed to vocally dislike Anya is Willow, because she's the only one who dealt with Evil!Anya in person.



Currently Human, Currently Soulless Vampire

Anya was turned into a human from S3. Since S4, she's trying so hard to fit in. She has a boyfriend and a job, and her humanity was impossible to miss. And ever since she became part of their lives, she never betrayed them… until she became a demon again in the second half of S6. Actually once Anya becomes a demon again and starts killing, Buffy didn't hesitate to kill her.

Spike was a soulless vampire. He didn't pretend to be anything else. Certainly Buffy feels he's "like a serial killer in prison." Spike was capable of love obviously, but he only showed affection to Buffy, and during S5/early S6 to Dawn, usually he's too caught up in the Big Bad act. Only Buffy was able to see behind the façade because Spike allowed her to. The Scoobies see him saving their lives, but can't trust him completely, because of the lack of soul and the way Spike usually expresses himself to them.



Relationships with a member of the Scooby Gang

When Spike fell in love with Buffy, it's obvious she was repelled by it. She didn't want his love and she was mostly annoyed and freaked. It was reflected on the people around her. Willow, one of the few Scoobies who showed Spike some tenderness, was also freaked. Joyce wasn't thrilled either. Giles threatened Spike not to come near Buffy. All because Buffy didn't want Spike.

WILLOW: Well, he ... he actually told you? He, he said, "I love you"?
BUFFY: Well, I-I didn't let him get that far, but ... I could see the words coming.
JOYCE: Honey, did you ... somehow, unintentionally, lead him on in any way? Uh, send him signals?
BUFFY: (ponders) Well, I ... I do beat him up a lot. For Spike that's like third base.

Joyce looks upset, stands up.

WILLOW: Buffy, um ... I'm really worried.
JOYCE: So am I. He could become dangerous.
BUFFY: Not really. As long as it's still chips ahoy in Spike's head he can't hurt me, or any of us. You know, besides, this'll probably just blow over. You know? It's just some weird Spike thing. He'll have the hots for some gak demon before we know it.
WILLOW: I don't know. Uh, these things can, can become pretty twisted.
JOYCE: (comes back to sit down again) Yeah, and Spike, I mean, he's...
BUFFY: Pretty twisted.
JOYCE: Yeah.
WILLOW: Well, well, you made it clear, right? That it could never happen. That there's no possible way. Ever.
BUFFY: Yeah! (looks at them) I, I think so. I don't know, I, I was just so thrown.
WILLOW: Well, Buffy, you have to talk to him again.
BUFFY: What? No. No, no, no, I have to avoid him again.
WILLOW: Not until you shut him down completely. If he thinks there's even a little chance with you, there's no telling what he'll do.

Buffy looks concerned.


With Anya, it was different. She asked Xander to take her to the prom. Xander didn't seem that concerned about her past. She looks so much like a student for him to care, and he was probably too desperate for a date to the prom. It was apparent he didn't want her as anything else at the moment. The reactions of his friends:

Oz: Anya, huh? Interesting choice.
Xander: Choice is kind of a broad term for my situation. See, it's either Anya or the sock puppet of love for this boy. (holds his right hand in puppet shape, speaks in silly voice) I love you, Xander. I'll never leave you.
Willow: Well, if Anya tries to get you killed, put me down for a big 'I told you so.'
Xander: (puppet) Who's this Anya? Is she prettier than me?
Willow: She just better not try to cross me. That's all I'm saying.
Buffy: Well, at least we all have someone to go with now. Some of us are going with demons, but I think that's a valid lifestyle choice. More importantly, I have the kick dress.

So of all of them, Willow seems the most concerned, mainly because of what had happened earlier between her and Anya. Oz is laid back as usual. Buffy just wants everyone to be happy because she is.

One of the main differences between Spike and Anya, the biggest, is that Xander accepted Anya. He wanted her to be his girlfriend, he acknowledged her as one, despite Willow's obvious dislike of Anya, he still kept dating her. He usually brought her to every Scooby meeting ever since they started sleeping together. He took her to Buffy's Thanksgiving gathering. He made her part of them, and while his friends didn't warm up to her, they accepted her presence because Xander liked her.

As for Spike, Buffy was ashamed of him. She didn't want him around her friends, she didn't even want to tell them about her relationship with him. Other than Xander, the rest of the Scoobies didn't mind Spike being around and Dawn liked him just fine. If Buffy had pushed Spike into the group – just like Xander did with Anya – the Scoobies will accept him, and like Willow was able to deal with Anya being around, Xander will eventually be able to deal with Spike being around (He dealt with his presence just fine in S7).

Spike would be a permanent Scooby member if Buffy just said the word. That will lead us to another important point:



The desire to become a Scooby

Did Spike really want to become a Scooby? He never seemed to exhibit any desire to fit in. While he was chipped and unsouled he always emphasized his vampireness and was antagonistic towards the Scoobies. He usually threatened to kill them once his chip stopped working. The only reason he teamed up with the Scoobies was for his own benefit. It was in exchange of money and blood, to survive.

His priorities did change after he fell in love with Buffy. When Buffy died, Spike seemed to be part of the group. He was joking with Giles, he fought side by side with Xander, he was there for Dawn… but once Buffy came back, he didn't seem to want to hang out with them anymore than they want to hang out with him. Even his affection to Dawn seemed to disappear once Buffy came back. Were all his contributions in the summer between S5 and S6 for the promise he gave to Buffy? Certainly he was more interested in Buffy the rest of S6. After he was souled, he was still more focused on Buffy, he didn't even make an effort to patch things up with Dawn.

On the other hand, Anya made some kind of effort to assimilate into the human world, and she tried to get along with the Scoobies. With time she did end up caring about their well-being. She showed a desire to become human, a desire to help the Scoobies with research, a desire to become one of them. Perhaps it was all for Xander's sake, and while she was tactless and unbearable at times, she was always eager to help and lend a hand. She was never sarcastic about it until S7, for obvious reasons.



Was It Entirely the Scoobies' Fault?

jgracio had said that the Scoobies were made to be naïve morons because they had quickly accepted Spike as one of them once he had gotten the chip.

Let's see: While the Scoobies found it hard to warm up to Spike, Giles and Xander gave Spike a place to stay with free blood. Giles actually let him roam in his place without chains. Xander only chained him when he went to sleep. The decision to move out was clearly Spike's, no one kicked him out.

The Scoobies more often than not ask Spike for help and information later, in which he keeps reminding them that he's evil and that he doesn't like them and that he'd kill them one day when he finds a way to get rid of the chip. The Scoobies still trusted him and considered him on their side. Why would Giles keep blood in his fridge after Spike moved out if he didn't consider Spike one of them? Why would Willow stop Spike from committing suicide? Why would Xander put his life in danger of being hit by falling rocks to save Spike's life? In The Yoko Factor, when Spike planned to 'pretend to go back under disguise into the Initiative', Xander delivered him the clothes appropriate with the 'job'.

The Scoobies got burned for their naivety when Spike started working with Adam, and betrayed that forming trust they had for him.

Xander: Spike's working for Adam?! After all we've done--nah, I can't even act surprised.

Funnily enough, later when Spike asks for forgiveness, Giles and Willow turn their eyes to Xander as if asking his permission to forgive Spike. Xander shrugs and lets him be.

The Scoobies' attitude toward Spike had always been neutral, even Xander and Giles, it was until Buffy told them that Spike is in love with her and appeared grossed by it that Giles and Xander started to be overprotective. Personally, if Buffy returned Spike's feelings by that time, I don't think the Scoobies would have minded having him around, and even Xander will eventually loosen up, he seemed to take it well when he thought that Buffy was sleeping with Spike in S5.



In Conclusion:

Spike would have easily become a Scooby if he made a better first impression, played nice with the Scoobies, had a soul, was accepted sooner by Buffy, and expressed a desire to become one of them. Anya was as rude as Spike, but she was never a threat. She was liked by Xander, she never tried to kill the Scoobies the way Spike did, she tried to fit in, and she was human.

All and all, I think if S7 was made into two seasons with more space for Scoobies/Spike development, I'm sure Spike would have become a Scooby. It's not just about the Scoobies accepting him, it's also about Spike's desire to be one of them.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

Excellent, something I have wondered about a lot, and you really gave such wonderful reasons for the different attitudes. It really makes a lot of sense.

Really in season seven, Spike does get away with more from the scoobies, maybe because of Buffy. But when under the Firsts control, he is taken back to Buffy's home, and Buffy rescues him from The First, but in Anya's case, Buffy is set to kill her for what she did in "Selfless". As Anya says Spike has a "Get out of jail free card", which seems to be Buffy's attachment to him.

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

Thank You, also in "Never Leave Me", Anya is the only one who says vocally that they should stake Spike. Not even Xander supports her, and the decision as to what to do with Spike is totally in Buffy's hands.

Also in that episode, when Buffy says that Spike needs blood, Willow is willing to get Anya's. Buffy even seems to consider it, until deciding to wean him off human blood.

It seems that with the loss of her previous postion as Xander's girlfriend her place in the Scoobies is also lessend.

[jgracio.livejournal.com]

I would argue that for the most part, Anya was never really a member of the Scoobies (I don't think Buffy considers her a friend), and also, until late S5 - S6, didn't really want to be.

Spike, unless we consider the time when Buffy was dead (and we really don't know enough about that period), never wanted to be a Scoobie. He loved Buffy, was very fond of Dawn and Joyce, but for the rest of the people, at very least, he didn't care about.

[jgracio.livejournal.com]

Really in season seven, Spike does get away with more from the scoobies, maybe because of Buffy.

Disagree with this. Spike doesn't get away with more from the Scoobies, because the Scoobies are irrelevant to Spike's fate by this point, only Buffy's opinion matters.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

An argument can be made that the additional leniency Spike seems to get in S7 is a direct outgrowth of Buffy's interactions with Anya in "Selfless".

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

Well it is only Giles who really goes against Buffy and acts to eleminate Spike, and pays for it. Buffy moves away from him, until he does finally accept her ideas in overcoming The First.

The others do not object to Spike being in the basement, in the house they are living in. Even when he has been killing, all be it under the influence of The First. They also do not object to Buffy using Spike to help train the Potentials, who they are trying to protect. All actions concerning Spike are left up to Buffy, therefore it is her relationship with Spike that is the important aspect of their treatment of him.

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

Yes that would be an interesting debate.

[2maggie2.livejournal.com]

Good essay! I think a lot of people who blame the Scoobies for their treatment of Spike forget how much he worked to antagonize them. I know I often do. Though I still don't think it lets them off the hook for some of the things they do in response. Anyway...

The only part of your essay that I didn't find very persuasive was your attribution of Willow's dislike of Anya to her negative first impression of Anya. That might be a part of it. But I would be surprised if Willow weren't negative towards *anyone* Xander was involved with. Not that Willow wants to be romantically involved with Xander. But she's used to him being hers in a special way (bestest friends), and she's never going to be thrilled about someone else mattering to that much. At least, that's how I always read her intransigent dislike for Anya. It just seemed to me like a fairly common dynamic.

On a more minor key, I'm a bit more judgmental about the Scoobies failure to grant real Scooby status to any of the 'outsiders'. Even Tara falls out of the group when she is separated from Willow, with Buffy only seeking her out when she needed special help. Anya's rapid post-Xander marginalization was rather breath-taking, especially given her rather heroic efforts in trying to contain Willow at the end of season 6. The late-comers (Tara, Spike, Anya) all had contributed to the gang; they all risked things for them. You'd think at some point they'd have some status apart from their relationship with a particular Scooby.

I think that's the dynamic that causes some people to find the Scoobies non-reaction to the deaths of Spike and Anya at the end to be at least distasteful. The ending of Chosen could not have played for happy if any of the 'real' Scoobies had died.

[jgracio.livejournal.com]

Since the why of Anya was killed in Chosen is clearly not a question that can be explained by in series reasoning...

He killed her because he wanted to add "meaning" AKA pain to the ending while still keeping it happy, and from what I read, other people had convinced him that killing one of the core four would ruin the happy part of the equation.

It's also the reason why Amanda (I think that's her name) died, while Kennedy survived. :)

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

Excellently written essay. There are parts where our opinions differ (mostly on Anya's motives and Willow's reasonings), but I truly see your view of your side.

Funnily enough, later when Spike asks for forgiveness, Giles and Willow turn their eyes to Xander as if asking his permission to forgive Spike. Xander shrugs and lets him be.

I love that you pointed out that moment. Of course, I'm a Xander/Spike 'shipper so I may be biased.

[jgracio.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much why I said only Buffy's opinion mattered. IMO, by S7, for the most part, Willow was even more disposed to agreeing with Buffy and Xander was at his highest "Buffy knows what she's doing" time ever.

IMO, Spike would've gotten away with stuff from the Scoobs if they let him get away with stuff for Spike, because they felt Spike was worth it, and not because they let Buffy do their thinking for them.

As it was, what I saw on the screen, and this varies of course, was a group of people trusting Buffy's judgement.

[lusciousxander.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :) I think in S7, Xander and Willow trusted Buffy so much that they were willing to have Spike on their side. Xander seemed to accept Spike in a great degree considering how much he disliked him in the earlier seasons.

[speakr2customrs.livejournal.com]

It's also the reason why Amanda (I think that's her name) died, while Kennedy survived. :)

But if he'd killed Kennedy nearly as many people would have rejoiced as the six and a half million people (total UK viewing figures) who rejoiced when he killed Molly!

[lusciousxander.livejournal.com]

I mentioned that Anya only wanted to act human for Xander's sake, and she made a better effort to fit in than Spike did. It made it easier to accept her.

[lusciousxander.livejournal.com]

The only part of your essay that I didn't find very persuasive was your attribution of Willow's dislike of Anya to her negative first impression of Anya.

I guess Willow's dislike of Anya started because what happened in Doppelgängland. But then knowing Anya's past, Willow figured that once Xander upsets Anya, she might hurt him like she hurt men all these centuries. She was right, once Xander left Anya, she returned back to be a vengeance demon and sought Xander's friends to wish him death. Willow's fears are accurate.

ANYA: Oh. You think I'm gonna hurt Xander? I would *never* hurt Xander! (Willow looks skeptical) You really think I would do that!

WILLOW: Anya, it's what you do. You spent what, a thousand years hurting men? You got your "thousand years of hurting men" gold watch.

ANYA: I was a demon then, and, and I don't even have any powers now! Is this the spell?

WILLOW: Only if you want him to double in size, and grow extra arms, which ... let's not. A-and by the way, you weren't a demon when you turned Olaf into Lord of the Hammers. You managed that. Also, there's ... other ways to hurt Xander.

You'd think at some point they'd have some status apart from their relationship with a particular Scooby.

I think because Buffy, Xander and Willow were best friends for so long, they have a stronger bond with each other than with the others. It's understandable they'd confidant on each other.

To me the Scoobies had a healthy relationship with Tara and Anya, they weren't best friends with them, but they did consider them friends. Tara gets invited to Buffy's birthday and Xander's wedding even after she broke up with Willow. Xander keeps reminding Buffy that Anya is her friend in Selfless. I remember when Anya came back after the wedding that didn't happen, Willow hugged her with excitement. Willow actually considered hating Xander for what he did to Anya. That from the Scooby member who didn't get along with Anya.

As for deaths, people usually gloss over Buffy and Xander's reaction to Tara's death, the way they looked at her body, shocked and upset. The way Xander approved of killing Warren because he killed Tara. They really cared about her. The minimal reaction to Anya and Spike's death had more to do with Joss wanting it to have a lighter ending, I'm sure the Scoobies mourned off-screen. At least Buffy had tears when she told Spike she loved him and he was the lost word she said when the series ended. Xander risked his life looking for Anya in a falling building until Dawn pulled him out, there were tears in his eyes and voice when he talked with Andrew.

[lusciousxander.livejournal.com]

I think I stressed a lot on Anya wanting to fit in and Willow's anger about what happened between her and Anya in Doppelgängland, I think Anya's reasons to be a Scooby had more to do with making Xander happy than a real desire, but she learned eventually to care about others.

Of course, I'm a Xander/Spike 'shipper so I may be biased.

We all are. *g*

[jgracio.livejournal.com]

You do realize that had Whedon known of the UK viewers dislike for Molly she would have survived?

Surely you must realize this. :)

[2maggie2.livejournal.com]

We'll have to disagree about the root of Willow's animus toward Anya -- though I'd be willing to say both factors were in play.

My point about the death of Anya and Spike isn't that Xander didn't mourn for Anya or Buffy for Spike, but rather that the group as a whole was generally unaffected. Had Xander died, they would all have been bummed, and there would have been no cheery quipping. And that difference in status -- 'insider' vs. 'outsider' -- stands as a dark shadow on the scoobies as a whole. At least for me.

Tara did get better treatment. But I think her presence at the birthday party was partly because Buffy had just used her for help with the question of the effects of the spell and partly because there was a hope that she and Willow would reunite. It's significant, I think, that it was Tara that left Willow. Had it been the other way around, I think Tara would have been as out as Anya and Spike were.

[thatotherperv.livejournal.com]

really cool to see all the facets of their characters that made Spike less acceptable than Anya. that all makes so much sense to me.

also an interesting look at Spike's relationship to the Scoobies.

thanks!

[lusciousxander.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I made sense :) Thanks for your kind words.

[of-too-minds.livejournal.com]

That was an excellent essay. I'm sorry though, I'm not swayed. I still think the Scoobies were hypocritical. Evil is as evil does, and it shouldn't matter whether the perpetrator is human or otherwise. Besides, I see Anya's attempt to get her necklace back as equivalent to Spike's deal with Adam.

But nevermind that I don't agree with you. You raise some interesting and valid points. And the whole point of this exercise is to get us to think, right? Good job.

[moscow-watcher.livejournal.com]

Great essay.
I remember that in the beginning of season 4, when it had been already known that Spike would be back as a regular, many fans hoped that he'll replace Angel as a "good vampire." But, of course, Joss couldn't but make his path to redemption hard and rocky.

[lusciousxander.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoyed my hunble essay :) I actually changed my mind a lot about the Scoobies reaction to Spike while writing this, sometimes I don't blame them for disliking Spike especially in S4.

[lusciousxander.livejournal.com]

Thanks sweetie, I'm glad he didn't write Spike like Angel, that would be redundunt and boring. *excuse my spelling I'm in a hurry ;)

Did you see the Giles cover? :)

[bookishwench.livejournal.com]

Eeek! I didn't see this essay until I posted mine today! I'm so sorry that I didn't comment on it earlier.

You come up with some logical reasons why Anya was a bit more accepted than Spike, particularly since they don't really see her in action early on in the series (well, except for the Wishverse Scoobies, and they're almost all dead anyway). I'm still not sure that I really buy that Xander was ever actually in love with Anya (but I am convinced she was in love with him), though he might have thought he could change her into someone he could love, but he certainly never has any fear of her, while Buffy does fear Spike, and that is a big difference.

Thank you so much for creating such a thought-provoking essay in response to my prompt! Again, I'm really sorry that this feedback is coming so late, I really didn't know the essay existed!

[lusciousxander.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think it's my fault :( I should have posted the link for you like you did with me. *hits self*

Xander being in love with Anya will always be a fan's subjective thinking (I believe he did, though, episodes like Real Me, Family, Into the Woods, Hells Bells -ironically- Selfless, and really many more showed me that he did) but it's obvious he didn't like some of her characteristics, which makes people believe he didn't love her. Xander and the others -except Willow- don't seem to consider Anya dangerous because she clearly loves Xander and because of that she'd do anything to make him happy and in return Xander cares deeply about her and shows his friends that, while with Spike it was different. His attitude is not that likeable, he tries to keep his evil image, he rarely shows his soft side and Buffy doesn't like him. Lucky Anya, but sucks for Spike.

[cursedfire.livejournal.com]

I thought about this a lot, too but I mostly wondered about Anya part. IMO, Buffy/Xander/Willow/Giles were always the Scoobies. Even Anya and Tara weren't a complete pert of the gang. That bothered me a lot.

Spike is supposed to be a loner. That's the part of his charm.

[lusciousxander.livejournal.com]

I think Anya and Tara were a part of the Scooby gang. No one made them feel unwelcomed. Xander had brought Anya to all the Scooby meetings since they started dating. Willow had always included Tara, and made sure she felt like part of the team in Real Me. It's not Buffy, Xander, Willow and Giles' fault that they knew each other long before they met Anya and Tara. They had a history together. Of course, they'd be tighter than with the others.